Reactive.

That is the only word to describe Little Boss. He sees something, he reacts. There’s no counting to 10 or “choose your words wisely” nor does he have that little voice inside his head that tells him to keep his yapper shut. It’s HIS world and we just live in it.

We used to work out one department, and then we moved to our own division. Each division has their own door security code though. So when we moved, we got our own door code and the other division had to change their door code too. We were told we could not give the other division our door code, nor were we to have theirs. According to Little Boss.

So not long after moving to the other division, we realized that we didn’t have a can opener and Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou only had a can of soup for lunch. You know, since Little Boss pays her the big bucks, she’s eating soup for lunch! Since we still have friends in the other division, Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou went over there to borrow there can opener, but instead she was given the code by the receptionist and went down the hall into the kitchen. No one had a problem with her going in their division, except the Old Lady (see blogpost titled “Hater!..). She told Little Boss that Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou had been in their division’s kitchen. She just HAD to mention it to him, didn’t she?? THIS is how big of a hater she is! She’s trying to keep Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou from eating her lunch!

Fast forward to later in the day after lunch. All you hear are the stomping footsteps of Little Boss coming down the hallway. I’m thinking he’s coming over to my desk, but he keeps on going. Where is he headed?? He stops two desks down at Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou’s desk. “Uhhhh, WHO gave you the code to the other divisions’ door? You are NOT supposed to have that code!! I hear you were over in their kitchen at lunchtime. How did you get inside their door? We have seperate codes now for a reason! They aren’t supposed to be in our division and we aren’t supposed to be in their division! I’ve already gone over this! Why were you over there??”. Poor, poor Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou! She’s beyond frazzled! She’s simply shocked that it’s SUCH a big deal that their division was our office a mere week earlier! She stammers out “Well, I…I…I just needed to borrow their can opener for my soup. That’s all I had for lunch and we didn’t have one down here. So-so-so, the receptionist gave me the code to let myself in because she was too busy to enter the code for me since she was by herself. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I just wanted to eat my soup!”. With that exlanation, do you think that Little Boss backed down after learning that it was the only thing she had to eat? Of course not! Little Boss said “Well, I don’t want to see you up there again. We aren’t supposed to be over there!”. With that, he walks away, leaving a dumbfound Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou probably a little teary eyed from the verbal attack.

As if that display of UTTER professionalism wasn’t enough, as he’s stomping back to his desk, Little Boss has the NERVE to come to a screeching halt at my desk. “Do you have the door code to the other division???”. OH HELL NO. Don’t come over to MY desk and pop off about something you know NOTHING about. He’s already been told who gave her the damn code, so why the heck is he up in my face about it?? I SLOWLY turned around and angrily looked him in the eye and said “UH, NO. I do not have the code to their door”. And then he just stands there looking at me. I sat there looking back at him with the “What else do you want?” look. I finally said “Anything else?”. Little Boss says “No. No. Thanks” and with that he walked back to his desk. Since everyone on in the ENTIRE office heard the whole altercation with Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou, my cell phone begins to blow UP with texts from my friends around the office!!!

So, I had a spare can opener at home, and I brought it in to leave in our kitchen. The next day at lunch, I quietly let Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou know that I am leaving this can opener here to avoid yesterday’s “situation”. She smiled and thanked me and everyone in the breakroom was like OMG, I cannot believe the hissy fit he threw, are you okay Mrs. Holier-Than-Thou??? She said she was fine, but her husband certainly was upset when she told him the story. OH I can imagine. I’m sure her husband would LOVE to have a few words with Little Boss!

So, of course this is now a running joke in the kitchen, someone always brings it up. If the can opener gets pushed to the back of the drawer and someone is on the hunt for it, when they find it they’ll say “Whew! It’s a good thing I found the can opener, otherwise I would have freaking starved to death! I better not go to their division, I’ll get my ass chewed out!!”.

Just a reminder, LITTLE BOSS IS A GROWN MAN ACTING LIKE THIS!!!!! BIG BABY!!!!