Geek Fight
July 25, 2009 thesassysecretary
It had been brewing for days. Small squabbles here and there for over a week.Then, the mother of all geek fights.
IT Guru had been mad at Captain Obvious for being such a hard head and not listening to IT Guru’s opinion. Remember, Captain Obvious is a know nothing know it all. The network server had been on the fritz and then one day, it completely crashed. On the weekend. IT Guru had to come in very early on a Sunday morning, yes I said a Sunday morning, to fix the system. He was able to patch it up to get it back online. By Tuesday morning it was starting to fail again and IT Guru and Captain Obvious had gone into the server room to try to figure out what kind of equipment they needed to buy to solve the problem. Captain Obvious ONLY does things HIS way, even if it fails 10 times. Then, on the 11th try, MAYBE he’ll concede to try things IT Guru’s way. And always, ALWAYS, IT Guru’s solution solves the problem. Well, doing this insane cycle everytime was just TOO much for IT Guru to go through yet again. So when the system started to fail, they needed to come up with a solution FAST, before Little Boss got back from his business trip. So they went into the server room to work and had closed the door due to the equipmet being so noisy. Or was that really the reason to close the door? So Captain Obvious starts telling IT Guru what to do, and that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. IT Guru’s elevated voice echoes through the office “Why do we have to go through this for the HUNDRETH freaking time?? Your way OBVIOUSLY isn’t working, Captain Obvious!!! I’m sick and tired of this insane routine we try 10 times before you allow me to give opinion!! We need to get the high capacity server, that’s it! No arguing! You’ve got to ask Little Boss to order it!! This is ridiculous! I’m not coming in on another weekend just because you don’t answer your damn phone!!”. The most maddening part is that ignorant cocky Captain Obvious lets him rant on and on and doesn’t even defend himself, making IT Guru look like a hothead. Then he gives him that condescending “There, there, don’t get so worked up” tone in his high pitched squeaky little voice. It’s so obnoxious! No wonder IT Guru snapped!
Their fight was SO loud, that Spoiled Brat had to go inside the server room to tell them that their cuss fight wasn’t appropriate for the office! Who knows how long and loud their fight COULD have gone on!!
Two days prior to this altercation, they were talking about about the first network crash that started all of this fiasco. IT Guru was in Captain Obvious’ office. The door is closed, but I can see them through the half glass wall. Captain Obvious is his annoyingly smug self, while IT Guru is spiraling downward FAST! The worst part though was that in the office next door, Little Boss and Graphics Guy were going over some new brochures and could hear the shouting match through the paper thin walls!!! But Little Boss must have been “Man Crushing” on Graphics Guy because he didn’t come out of HIS office to break up the geek fight!!
Captain Obvious treats IT Guru like absolute garbage. He is always trying to make IT Guru look bad in front of others. When the clock on my computer was 5 minutes slower than my cell phone, Captain Obvious instantly shouted “I TOLD IT Guru to take care of that!!!”. I told him “Who cares? At least we now there’s a time difference”.
We get our birthdays off as a paid workday. Last year, IT Guru’s birthday landed on a Friday. He put it on the big calendar showing that he would be off that day. So, the friday rolls around and IT Guru isn’t there and Little Boss says “Have you see IT Guru?? Did he call out sick or something??”. Does Captain Obvious pipe up and say “No it’s his birthday, remember? He’s using his day off”? Noooooo…he decides to throw IT Guru under the bus. “I HAVEN’T heard from him, I don’t know where he is!!”. Well, that throws Little Boss into a FRENZY!!! “What’s with him not calling out today? I’m really tired of this! (as if it happens ALL the time???) Give him a call and see where he’s at!!!”. That was when I had to step in!!! This meeting of the minds is getting ridiculous!!! “Ummm, today is IT Guru’s birthday! He’s using his birthday-day off since today is his BIRTHDAY! It’s on the calendar and I did hear him ask you (Little Boss) a few weeks ago for the day off”. OH, all of a sudden, Little Boss remembers IT Guru asking him for the day off! And then it’s Captain Obvious’ turn to suddenly remember! Those two put the “fun” in dysfunctional!!!
Anyone out there ever witness a geek fight in the office??
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