Printer Jam
July 25, 2009 thesassysecretary
These early arrivals have GOT to stop!!
When you are used to have one hour of quiet solace to get settle into your desk, open your emails, get something to drink, make some oatmeal, and enjoy the QUIET before Little Boss comes in.
But Little Boss has been in the office before 8:30am ALL week! That makes for a really long day, especially if he doesn’t go out for lunch and eats at his desk. Ugh, take a break and GO somewhere! The worst is when we are all eating in the breakroom and he comes in to get utensils and tries to charm us all and make jokes, all while just having yelled at us or stomped around all morning long. CRAZY!
So after arriving at 8:30, stomping around all morning, bickering with anyone in his path, Little Boss’ first smoke break was at 9:15am. Just like the day before, this is NOT a good sign! He came back from his smoke break at 9:34am and sent out the following bitchy email:
“I see on the small table next to the big printer that there are an exorbitant number of printed papers laying on the table. I simply don’t understand why all of those papers are on the table. If you are going to print something out, then forget about it, then someone takes it off of the printer and leaves it on the table for you, why print it out in the first place? This is not only a waste of paper, it’s a waste of the printing cartridges and those are very expensive. If you don’t claim your papers by the end of the day, they are going into the recycle bin for good!”.
Oh my gosh, stop the madness. This isn’t the 4th or 5th or 6th reminder email that Little Boss has sent about the printed papers. This was the FIRST email about the papers on the table. What was the word I used before? REACTIVE. He’s obsessed with the printers. He purposely put the printer right in front of his office so he could see everyone come and go, instead of putting it in the center of the room for everyone to access. So those unfortunate ladies who walk around in high heels everyday to look professional have to walk across the entire office (not a short distance) to get every item they print out. How insane is that? That printer was in a much better spot when we moved into that office. Then Little Boss had the bright idea to move it closer to him. Why? What purpose does that serve besides micro managing? Well of COURSE they forget that they’ve printed something out! They shouldn’t have to walk ALL the way to the printer 20 times a day to get their print-outs! I know what you’re thinking, Little Boss must have moved the printer closer to himself so that he didn’t have to walk too far to get his OWN printouts. Are you kidding? His lazy ass has a desktop printer on his desk!!! Yeah right, him be inconvenienced?? Not on your life! Like I’ve said before, it’s Little Boss’ world and we just live in it! It was pretty funny later that morning, Gossip Girl walked over to the printer and said loud enough for Little Boss to hear “I better come get my printout before I get my hand slapped!!!” and at first, Little Boss didn’t hear her, so she repeated herself and Little Boss chuckled and said “Yeah, that’s right!”
I’ll expound on what I meant by Little Boss being obsessed with the printers. Months ago, a sign appeared on top of the regular copier/printer and the big color printer: “DO NOT LEAVE ANYTHING ON TOP OF THE PRINTERS!”. The signs were taped to the tops of the printers halfway through the day, so some folks didn’t quite catch the new sign because they were busy, you know, WORKING. MILF printed out some papers and when she went to retrieve her printout, someone else had printed some papers out at the same time. So she took the other persons’ printout, left it on top of the printer as we so often do, then went back to her desk.
Shortly after that, Little Boss walked by the printer and saw the papers on top of the printer, sitting on TOP of the sign he had JUST taped to the top of the printer and WIGGED OUT!!!! Little Boss started to systematically walk from desk to desk and ask,
“Did you leave this on top of the computer? Did you leave this top on top of the printer?? Did YOU leave this on top of the printer????? I SPECIFICALLY put a sign on top of the printer so people will stop leaving stuff on top of the printers, WHY was it left on top of the printer?? Who left this there? Did YOU leave this on top of the printer???”.
The guilty party was MILF, but she was new at the time and was too embarassed to confess! As he stomped all over the office to find the culprit, MILF rushed over to me and said “OMG, that was me! But I don’t want to confess, I’m too embarassed! I don’t want him to make an example out of me”. So I told her to keep her mouth shut and let him continue his embarassing reign of terror. What grown person acts like this? Over a piece of paper being left on top of a copier??
But back to our current printer situation from this week, with the threats of the printouts being thrown away. Little Boss was on edge all day and he spent most of the morning squabbling with Captain Obvious over the status of the many ongoing projects that he’s wayyyyy behind on. But even in the middle of a squabble, he abruptly stops makes a joke, teases Captain Obvious, and they are best friends all of a sudden. HUH??? You were JUST yelling at him! How do you switch the crazy on an off so quickly? It’s such an insane roller coaster to be on. Just like I said before, Little Boss and Captain Obvious will have a fight, then the next day they’ve “made up” and go to lunch together like best friends, it’s crazy!!!
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1. Anonymous&hellip | July 25, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Just found and read your blog! really can relate. Very enjoyable -keep em coming..makes me realize im not the only one working for a psychopath..
2. Sassy Secretary&hellip | July 25, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Thank you Anonymous! I'll keep writing, Little Boss gives me TONS of ammo! Everyday is a wild ride with him, it's crazy!